Yesterday I was listening to a podcast, it's basically what I do all day. The podcast I was listening to was one that I grew to love as a nuanced mormon and still listen to today. When I first started listening I would cheer and clap at the things they were questioning and the guests they had on to chat about these hard things in mormonism. Now I find myself yelling at the phone trying to make sense as to why these particular women stay and use apologetic thinking to justify the staying and the things the church does. I may need to stop listening but I do find value in the voices of their listeners, who like me, are mostly it seems on their way out of the church altogether.
So...yesterday's podcast was about healthy relationships. I didn't find much value in the things the guest talked about because it all involved God and I'm still on the fence about them in particular. For some reason the subject of tithing came up when she was talking about "staying in her own lane". She basically said that she tried to focus on the things that were in her control and the things she felt were her business. Solid advice for the most part. The guest then went on to talk about the SEC ruling recently against the church and members finding out the church hid billions of dollars from the membership and the government. She said that she needed to stay in her own lane regarding this finding. That her paying tithing to the church was what God wanted her to do and what he asked of her and whatever the church did with that tithing money was on the leaders of the church and not her. I do agree with this to an extent but I also know that if I spend my money at a store and find out that their political, social or spending habits are unethical and don't align with my morals and values I will no longer shop there. Why should it be different for the church? Shouldn't you be able to choose where your money goes based on where you spend it?
I LOVE Hobby Lobby, LOVE it. I haven't shopped there in 5 years because I do not agree with their policies and donation record when it comes to LGBTQ people and women in general. I won't add my money to the pile that they may donate to, in my opinion unworthy, political candidates or laws being passed, or policies that discriminate against women regarding birth control coverage for their employees. Another thing I love is Chik-fil-a...yeah not eating there either...google it. So I spend my money at places I feel are safe. Now I'm sure my list of places I spend money don't always align with my beliefs and morals but when I find out about these differences and things I change my spending habits the best I can. I'm not perfect at it and probably won't ever be but when something is glaringly obvious I adjust accordingly. Same with the church. You've read my previous posts and know (at least I assume LOL) that once I learned about the church's spending habits for BYU I stopped paying tithing.
I feel like this IS my lane and I'm being a responsible human when I make changes accordingly.
So stay in your lane but just know what your lane actually is.