Being a TBM (true believing mormon) and having 4 kids AMAB (assigned male at birth) the pressure to make sure they all served missions was really strong.
Males in the church are "under obligation" to serve a 2 year mission for the church when they turn 18. They are required to go wherever the church sends them, anywhere in the world, and they are required to pay for the mission themselves. It's very expensive and usually the parents of the missionary pay for the mission. The last numbers I heard were around $425 a month for 2 years. That's over $10,000 for each missionary. This number does not include any clothes the missionary needs to bring with them ie; new suits, winter clothes for cold climate areas, appropriate things for personal days and even garments. They also usually buy new scriptures which are really expensive and some need a passport and a visa to serve in foreign countries. Each missionary is required now to bring a certain kind of cell phone with them as well which is another expense. I've heard of missionaries calling or writing home asking for more money each month because they were low on groceries etc. So the expense adds up really quickly.
Now in the news the last few years the church has been spotlighted for it's excessive wealth. They are estimated to be worth well over 100 billion dollars.
well. over. 100 BILLION. dollars
Yet they still require their missionaries and their families to pay for missions. This seems crazy to me as they could easily fund these missions themselves. They do provide cars for missions that use cars but if you are a mission that still walks or rides bikes you are required to provide your own bike and replace your shoes when they are completely worn by so much walking. My husband had to have his shoes resoled several times while he was on his mission and they were walking upwards of 14 miles a day.
So here's my story about missions and missionaries. I didn't serve a mission. I knew that my anxiety was too bad and I'd likely end up coming home early and I didn't want to put myself through that experience. THANK GOODNESS I listened to my gut on that one and ignored my leaders and my dad! I have always loved having the missionaries in my home and feeding them as a young married family was always so fun for me. I have had countless sets of elders and sisters in our home and they are usually very sweet and bring a fun atmosphere with them.
I've mentioned before that for a few years our family utilized our states food stamp program to get the groceries we needed. It was hard and humiliating and I felt really guilty that we didn't have enough for our family. I also felt very determined to "pay it forward" and use the food for us and as many people as we could help. This included having the missionaries over for dinner about once a week for years! During covid this kind of stopped and also when we moved to the farm I worked nights and we had sister missionaries in our ward so they could not come over when it was just my husband and the kids (it's rule). Once I was able to quit my night job I was excited to start having the missionaries over again on a regular basis. I found the missionary dinner calendar and put my name in a slot for a Tuesday evening. I was so excited to have them over! While I was adding my name to the calendar I noticed that another family in the ward had signed up for 2 days before I did. I noticed this because they are the only other LDS family that lives in our tiny town and is about 40 minutes from the ward building. The night before I was supposed to have the sisters over for dinner they called me and told me they could not come. They said they were out of miles on their vehicle for the month and couldn't drive out this far. They asked me to bring the food in to the ward building and eat there.
I was immediately upset. I however told them I would not be bringing the food to the building and that I would just sign up for another time (knowing full well I would never sign up again). Just as a passive aggressive side note I said "oh that's too bad I bet the (insert other families name) were sad you couldn't come out here to have dinner with them either. To which they replied "we did come and have dinner with them because they are a bit closer than you"...we are 4 miles from the other family. 4. MILES. How can a church that makes so much money and REQUIRE that their missionaries pay for missions not have enough money to give their missionaries enough miles on their vehicles to visit and service all the people and members in their area? I know that if I had been an investigator they would have figured out a way to extend those miles and come out. I remained a church attendee for several more months and never signed up to feed them again.
I understand that these kids are just doing what they are told and trying their best to follow really ridiculous and strict rules but I was so upset. In the eyes of the church I didn't matter.
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